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Posted by: James 8/25/2006 10:38 AM

At the risk of veering too far into Nerdtown, I’d like to bid a farewell to the ex-planet Pluto.  We barely knew thee, oh Pluto.  All these years we were force-fed Lies about there being 9 planets and now the Geeks In Charge have demoted Pluto to the demeaning status of “dwarf planet”.  The remaining 8 planets are now “classic planets” and poor Pluto has been relegated to New Coke status.


It makes one wonder what else that is widely accepted as fact will be changed in the future.  For the longest time, the smartest people in the world agreed that our planet was flat.  Draining people of their blood supposedly got rid of their diseases.  Leeches were the default method for a long time to cure people of a myriad of illnesses.  Burning witches at the stake was an accepted social method to rid society of satanic vessels.


Even foods go in and out of vogue as far as being demonized.  In the 1980s, eating an egg meant certain death, as the evil Cholesterol would clog up your arteries and kill you.  Then scientist determined years later that eggs were actually OK if eaten in moderation.  The latest craze to finally die down was this Atkins nonsense.  While there was no doubt that people lost huge amounts of weight by adhering to the diet, I still contend that a slice of bread is healthier for you than 4 strips of bacon.  I live for bread and cheese and will not give them up unless it’s life threatening.  Any diet that demonizes pizza is my Mortal Enemy.  As with ANY food out there, moderation is the key.  Yes, eating nothing but red meat will probably take years off your life, but having a pepperoni pizza every 2 weeks isn’t going to be the death of someone if they eat well for most of their meals.  It sure beats placing leeches on my torso.


I’m not sure how I veered from Pluto to carbohydrates but the bottom line is that school textbook makers must be salivating at the thought that they get to sell many more new versions of all their science and astronomy books next year.  What have we learned from all this brouhaha?  Pluto needed better lobbyists to state its case for planethood.  Now Pluto is like Puerto Rico or Guam – a “lite” version of a bigger club.

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Re: Kicked Out    By Meatball on 8/25/2006 2:10 PM
Ah, your assumption about the textbooks might be "off"...as long as the history books down here still call it "The War Of Northern Agression", I'm pretty sure ... well, actually, the textbooks they use probably don't list Pluto at all, so that might work.

Nevermind.

Re: Kicked Out    By Jason's Mom on 8/25/2006 3:43 PM
In the Woody Allen flick "Sleepers," Woody plays a health food store owner who dies during minor surgery and is frozen, only to be thawed out in the year 3000 or so. When he comes to he asks for wheat germ and is told, "That stuff will kill you. Our health foods are hot fudge and cigarettes. "

Re: Kicked Out    By Syl on 8/25/2006 4:10 PM
I love Pluto. I always liked the only Disney character that acted like what it was (a dog). But at least the celestial body got its own new classification- it's a 'LittlePeople' planet.

Re: Kicked Out    By Ratt on 8/28/2006 5:38 PM
It's all semantics, man. I think Pluto has only been a planet since 1903 or something like that, relatively new member of our galaxy. So now they've been voted off the planetary island...and all those science teachers out their have to come up with a new mneumonic to remember the remaining 8.

Re: Kicked Out    By TScavone on 8/29/2006 1:26 PM
I too was sad to see Pluto go. I kinda liked that little guy. Way out there, living life on the edge. I must say though, I saw this coming! I saw it weeks ago. I was watching a new program on Discovery Channel and they were flashing 1-866 numbers that you could call to vote a planet out of the solar system. Like anybody was goinng to vote off Uranus! That planet was the butt of too many goood jokes. What can I say. We live in a world where a contestant on a reality TV show gets more votes than most elected officials.

As far as the whole crabs thing goes I am going to put the debate to rest. Carbs are good. I can prove it. Basic math principals. Remember the associative property? (Keep up James If A=B and B=C then A=C) Carbs = Beer and Beer = Good then Carbs = Good.

End of Debate.

Re: Kicked Out    By TScavone on 8/29/2006 2:21 PM
Did I say Crabs? I meant Carbs.


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