Today is Ally’s fifth birthday.  It’s also her last day at her Montessori school since she starts kindergarten on August 11.

Here is my absolute favorite picture of her.  She couldn’t have been more than a day or two old in this one.  We had put sock ...

I’m curious what other parents’ policies are on other birthday parties.  Nothing is more sucky than having to take your kid to a party for a kid you don’t know and parents who you also don’t know.  You hope that you might recognize another kid’s parents at the party so you can at least have idle chatter with someone while your precious seedling gets hopped up on sugary confections.

This has been a real stressful week for all 4 family members, thus the lack of posts.  I can’t get into specifics for now but let’s just say there’s a special place in hell for vindictive and petty people.  I’m so fucking mad right now that, instead of making lemonade out of lemons, I want to take the uncut lemons and shove them in these peoples’ orifices.

Green – Orange

Green – Orange

Green – Orange

Red – Yellow

Yellow

Periodically I’ll encounter a driving maneuver that is so insanely dangerous, illogical and ignorant that I interrupt my regularly scheduled blog posts to recap the scene of the crime.  Today was one of those days.  You can follow along on the crudely illustrated Google Map + MS Paint illustration below.

Ally and I wer ...

In the interest of eating healthier, I have mostly eliminated fast food from my diet.  I’m not claiming to have completely wiped it out, as the heroin they oh-so-subtly place in their burgers and fries makes my body crave it every few months or so.  Then I eat it, feel disgusted with myself and then coil into a shame spiral of loathing and self-disgust much like I would do when hungover in college.

& ...

If your house, situated in the south, has the air conditioning go on the fritz, it won’t happen until the night before a 3-day holiday weekend.  There’s nothing like trying to fall asleep in an 85-degree bedroom.  All we needed was some malaria and mosquito netting around the bed and you could have mistaken our upstairs floor this weekend with the set of Apocalypse Now.  The scary thing is we avoided what would normally be a really hot weekend this time of year.  It “only” got up to the mid-80’s all weekend; otherwise we all would have been sleeping in the basement.