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 Jacques Strap Minimize
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Posted by: James 6/26/2007 10:45 AM

WOW, yesterday was a day where I became mortified of something at work at my expense, yet it was hard as hell not to laugh out loud at the same time.

 

Quick Setup to the story:

 

As most of you know, I test web sites.  My current company does online auction management software and sometimes we’re required to create new user IDs in production, as opposed to our test environment.  The problem is we have to use our real credit cards in the live environment.  The First and Last Name in your profile can be different from the First and Last Name associated with your billing address.  To break up the monotony of creating many user IDs, sometimes we take liberties with names.

 

Our system is set up so you get a free trial, after which you’ll be charged a certain amount to your credit card.  Normally we stay on top of the accounts we create and either change them to an employee account or cancel the account so our credit card isn’t charged.  I got an email from accounting last week asking if I had created an ID called Rocktoberfest.  Having totally forgot I had created some users for our German site, I thanked her for catching that one (along with Rocktoberfest Zwei).

 

This weekend I opened my credit card statement and noticed some other Marketworks charges and realized some other IDs must have slipped through the cracks.  Sure enough, as she was searching on my credit card number through the Cybersource site (since she couldn’t search on my real name), a few names appeared that I recognized immediately as ones I created.

 

Now, there were some harmless ones such as Shrimpon Thebarbie for an Australian account I had created.  But then I looked down the list and I internally cringed, as names that are funny to a group of guys in their thirties might not translate to giggles for older female accountants.  The following conversation is a loose interpretation of what transpired yesterday.

 

{Her} “Is this Turd Ferguson account one of yours?”

{Me, meekly, embarrassed, but trying to stifle a laugh} “Yeah, I must have created that one after a long day.”

{Her} “How about this one – Johnny Assplay?”

{Me} “Yeah, sorry about that.  Wasn’t planning on that becoming public.”

{Her} “So is this Turd Fergusonovich a relative of the first Turd?”

{Me} “That’s his Polish cousin.”

 

Note to self – make NORMAL names when creating accounts in a production environment.

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Comments (14)   Add Comment
Re: Jacques Strap    By Chris on 6/26/2007 11:43 AM
Oh man, I got busted on that with the Publix website a month or so ago when someone from their corporate complained that Satan Lucifer had applied for enfrollment into the Publix Preschool Pals programs.

Re: Jacques Strap    By Muuurph on 6/26/2007 12:44 PM
"Johnny Assplay" niiice. She's thinking "REAL mature".

That's a problem the company I'm at for the rest of the week is having with their users. People register for our site and sometimes use profanity for their first and last names. The big issue with this is our automatically generated usage reports the our customers can access (they are billed based on usage). We've had a few complaints, but while "CockSwallower Nutsack" may not be appreciated by some of the baptist ladies getting the reports there's not much we can do about it. Best we can do is tell them it must be an East Indian name.

Re: Jacques Strap    By Witt on 6/26/2007 12:57 PM
Do you have to sign off on installs before going into production?

I was having some fun and signed a few as Donald Duck to see if anyone would notice. Turns out, the auditors caught it. I tried to suggest that my test must have been successful but they did not find me very entertaining.

Good news is, my boss thinks I'm hilareous and he was on board!

Re: Jacques Strap    By shhhhh, here, take this. on 6/26/2007 1:18 PM
"Johnny Assplay"...

I'll tell you exactly what that fine professional woman is thinking:

(Oh, aaah, it's the closeted beige sweater-wearing homo...so tragic to live one's life as a lie. [Hmmmm...wonder if his picture is on our website? click click] Wonder is he's still writing that terrible screenplay?)

The well-named Satan Lucifer merely wants to offer a private corporate loving school grant to the chil'ren to start his My Big Brother(is an Freaking Insane Jerk) program. It will be a preschool success with the non-only- child!

Re: Jacques Strap    By Jason's Mom on 6/26/2007 3:37 PM
"...names that are funny to a group of guys in their thirties..."
Boys, boys, boys. (Sigh)
Am I going to have to call your mothers?

Re: Jacques Strap    By JA3 on 6/26/2007 6:16 PM
Turd Fergusonovich. Genius.

Re: Jacques Strap    By Boulder Area Woman on 6/26/2007 6:31 PM
That is priceless. I must agree with JA3 -- I laughed the hardest at the Polish cousin. I appreciate the effort exerted in your work.

(Amanda Hugginkiss is my favorite.)

Re: Jacques Strap    By TSAC on 6/26/2007 11:35 PM
Nothing wrong with a little creative thinking on the job! Anyone taking offense is probably jealous they couldn't come up with cooler names.

BTW, a friend calls my office and when I am not available leaves the name Ferris Wheel.

Re: Jacques Strap    By Syl on 6/27/2007 11:13 AM
There's one guy I call at work and I am usually a "well-known' author or book - Jane Austin, Moll Flanders...

Re: Jacques Strap    By Muuurph on 6/27/2007 12:22 PM
Ah yes the old fake names when calling a friend at work. In the days before direct connections a friend of mine used to amuse myself being characters from rock songs or sports figures. One of his best was calling and in an Indian accent telling the receptionist he was Baba O'Riley.

Of course this bit me in the ass one day when a guy I never spoke with before called. So when I heard Joe Murphy was on the phone I thought it was my friend pretending to be the useless hockey player who collected a paycheck for doing nothing. So I answered the phone "Hey you overpaid piece of shit" and was rewarded with stunned silence. Luckily after a little stammering and apologizing the guy turned out to be easy going and laughed it off. Made for a great story at the bar that night.

Re: Jacques Strap    By Jason's Mom on 6/27/2007 4:11 PM
A bunch of guys once called London's Gatwick Airport repeatedly, paging names that, on paper, look innocent, but sound like something quite different when spoken over a loudspeaker. The names were odd, but since travelers from all over the world pass thru London, no one caught it at first. I've since lost that website, but if anyone knows it, I'd love to hear it again. The only one I can remember is:
"Paging Mr. Job. Ahetma Job, courtesy phone please."

Re: Jacques Strap    By Erich on 6/27/2007 6:02 PM
Google is your friend Carol!

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2003/s_heathrow-p1.php

Re: All lean    By Syl on 6/28/2007 11:31 AM
Turd Fergusonovich. Genius. [That's Funny!]

Accented Baba O'Riley [Near spit-take!!]

Re: Jacques Strap    By Jason's Mom on 6/28/2007 4:48 PM
Thanks, Erich!


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