This really isn’t anything new or revelatory but I went to see a typical summer blockbuster movie last night and was underwhelmed as usual.  It doesn’t even matter which movie it was because you can insert this rant into a common boilerplate for any action movie made the past 20 years with a few exceptions (Die Hard, T2, Gladiator). 

With home theaters now making waiting for a movie to come out on DVD a better option for most, a “blockbuster” movie now has to entice me in one of two ways.  One is that I think the sound will be an awesome experience that will be superior to any home system.  The second criteria I use is that at least a few critics have to like it even though I still take anyone’s word with a grain of salt and like to decide for myself.  But if enough people say “Wow, that was one stupid movie, even for a ‘turn your brain off and enjoy the action’ kind of movie”, then I’ll wait for the DVD.

The one I saw last night had the added bonus of being shown in the digital theater.  Even with those three criteria I was still amazed at how this was yet another Summer Movie Event that simply won’t stand up to the test of time.  All the action shots were blurry and quick, meaning attention wasn’t paid to detail on close-up CGI shots.  The plot was banal and the cast had the standard United Colors of Benetton flavor to touch every demographic market and those characters played their stereotypes to the hilt.

I understand the blockbuster movie business isn’t in it for the enrichment of our minds.  I get that.  But must they have dialogue that caters not to the Lowest Common Denominator but to the Utter Lowest Common Denominator?  Granted, I like my foreign and independent films more than most but I also do like brainless action movies that simply entertain.  The thing is there are good action movies out there that might have a cheesy plot and some corny lines but the movie still works as a whole and you don’t feel dumber for the experience.

One final note, and I’ve ranted on this somewhere before but can’t find it right now.  This particular movie was rated PG-13 and had some pretty damn scary moments in it.  So why did I see, out of a movie crowd of maybe 30 (this was an early evening show), more than a third were absolutely under the age of 10?  These kids were with their parents and a bulk of the underage kids were with two sets of families and some of the kids weren’t even 3 or 4.  All through the damned movie these kids were yelling or screaming or crying, partly because they’re young but probably mostly because THEY WERE TOO YOUNG TO BE IN THAT THEATER FOR SUCH A SCARY MOVIE.  My only hope is that all those kids have nightmares every night for the next year and keep their irresponsible parents up all night.  The movie theater, just like the television, is NOT a babysitter for your kids.  You might as well take them to a smoky bar or a strip club.