James Kirkpatrick's Not-So-Random Keyboard Strokes

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Posted by: James	8/21/2006 9:10 AM
Do people ever sit back and actually analyze some old childhood nursery rhymes that are actually quite morbid? Certain rhymes, while having a nice cadence and ring to them, are downright inappropriate if you consider the actual subject matter. Let’s analyze a few. The one that most people are familiar with being a morose tale from the Middle Ages is Ring Around the Rosie. This was in regards to the plague that swept through London in the 1600s and wiped out a huge portion of the population. *Ring around the roses* (Rose being the color of the deadly rash) A pocket full of posies (Medicines and herbs people would carry around to fend off the foul air) *Ashes, ashes,* (Dead bodies burned to not spread plague) *We all fall down.* (People succumbing to death) What a heartwarming tale. Do we have any current crises that we could tell our kids at nighttime in a nice rhyming form? Maybe a rendition of the Tiananmen Square Massacre? Maybe a nice Ebola tale? How about the next nursery rhyme? *Rock a bye baby, in the tree top* (Why is the baby at the top of a tree? Are we talking about humans or lemurs?) *When the wind blows, the cradle will rock* (Um yeah, but they’re still not answering why they’re in the top of a tree like the Swiss Family Robinson) *When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall* (Ah, I love happy endings) *And down will come baby, cradle and all* (And next comes an official investigation from DCFS) Anyone up for animal torture? *Three blind mice* *See how they run* *They all ran after a farmer’s wife* *Who cut off their tails with a butcher’s knife* *Did you ever see such a sight in your life?* *As 3 blind mice* How about animating an egg for kids and then have it crushed to pieces? In addition, they're admitting the government, with all it's resources, couldn't fix it. It's as if this was written by a Libertarian. *Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall* *Humpty Dumpty had a great fall* *All the king’s horses and all the king’s men* *Couldn’t put Humpty together again* Ending on a nicer, but completely perverted note, I did find a disturbing rhyme while researching this which talks about taking care of pets. It’s titled “I Love Little Pussy.” Every line can be twisted into sick thoughts. *I love little pussy,* *Her coat is so warm,* *And if I don’t hurt her,* *She’ll do me no harm.* *So I’ll not pull her tail,* *Nor drive her away,* *But pussy and I,* *Very gently will play.* http://www.zelo.com/family/nursery/pussy.asp

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Re: fairy tale themes

By Syl on 8/21/2006 11:14 AM

Just promise that you'll get some Brothers Grimm fairy tales - the good old scary ones. In today's revised version, Hansel and Gretl probably don't even see an oven door (hey kids, don't run away, there are witches out there). Red Riding Hood's grandmother is not eaten and then set free by opening up the bad wolf. (In a few years) prepare the child for the reality of mice running around the kitchen...or squashed in a trap. Didn't your dog die when you were a kid? Life and death - hell, some children don't understand where their food originates (a hamburger tree?). Country living will confrim that you just can't fix everything, if you want them for breakfast --- handle those eggs with caution, child!

Pussy is good.

Re: Cat Pornography	By Donna on 8/21/2006 12:28 PM
James, You are a sick little cat fucker!! Megan, I know he is hiding the cat porn!! Ewwww.... you sssick bastard....

Re: Horrible nursery rhyme themes	By Deanna on 8/21/2006 1:10 PM
Same thing with cartoons - I'll never forget watching Bugs Bunny and others as I got older and realized how "adult" it was! Not to mention violent!

Re: Horrible nursery rhyme themes	By KB's on 8/21/2006 2:32 PM
I always wondered about Yankee Doodle and him keeping it up and being handy with the girls. I don't want my daughter dancing with any Yankee's doodle. Yankee Doodle keep it up, Yankee Doodle Dandy; Mind the music and the steps And with the girls be handy. BTW... YOUR ARE A CAT FUCKER

Re: Horrible nursery rhyme themes	By Crowder on 8/21/2006 5:51 PM
http://www.rhymes.org.uk/ Check out the origins of Jack & Jill and Mary Mary Quite Contrary. I can't believe that people think that H.P. Lovecraft and Clive Barker aren't for kids. At least they are scary on the surface, not some twisted subversive brain plant.

Re: Horrible nursery rhyme themes

By Ratt on 8/21/2006 10:36 PM

Yes, those old nursery rhymes have some horrid origins, as do the Grimm tales. It goes back to the old-time Germans who created the boogeyman and other tales to scare the shit out of their kids so they'll behave (and we all know how well THAT turned out). Must be why the word Kindergarden comes from Germany. For some more recent scary kids' stories, check out the "other" stuff Roald Dahl has written (I'm not talking about "James (the catfucker) and the Giant Peach either).

Re: Wonderful personal themes	By Syl on 8/22/2006 12:23 PM
From The Red Green Show (see it if you have not, if only for the Man pledge): "If the women don't find you handsome, at least they can find you handy!" Then he might make his own backhoe out of a Cadillac using its power windows and sunroof, a stepladder and a garbage can. he's awesome. Very handy. Dork.

Re: Horrible nursery rhyme themes	By Jason's Mom on 8/25/2006 3:47 PM
A lot of old folk tales have little girls being eaten by monsters. Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks -- always little girls in peril. The message seems to be, if you are adventurous and want to see the world, you will get eaten up. Better to stay at home and be seen but not heard.

Re: Horrible nursery rhyme themes	By Dice on 9/8/2006 5:34 PM
Hickory Dickory Dock... This chick was suckin' my cock... The clock struck two, I dropped my goo... And I dumped the bitch on da next block... Ooooooww!

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