Two unrelated thoughts today:

The past few weeks have really made me appreciate how great the newest generation of cell phones are.  Let me list a few super handy reasons that come to mind.

• It’s a great tool for avoiding eye contact in the elevator.  Now you can pretend to look at messages, compose messages or read from your browser.  Anything to avoid acknowledging those weirdos on other floors while you're sharing airspace.
• While waiting in places like a doctor’s office, it’s a great tool to kill time.  To heck with touching those dog-eared magazines full other sick people’s germs; I’m too busy playing Golden Tee Golf on my Blackberry now.
• While in the hospital with a newborn that is asleep in your arms, it’s a handy device to play games with and not disturb the baby.  No, the phone can’t relive your overflowing bladder but it at least can whittle away the hours while your newborn dreams about breastfeeding and plans how many times they plan to soil their diapers that day.

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The whole Senator Craig fiasco reminds me of that scene in The 40 Year Old Virgin when Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen are playing a video game and they go into a round of "Know how I know you're gay?" and then they give some funny reason why that person is gay (“You like Coldplay”).  So I got to thinking one of them could be replaced by Craig in the scene and then the one guy says "Know how I know you're gay?" and the senator will say "How?" and the dude replies "Because you play footsie with men in the airport bathrooms".

I do find it amusing that the political party that is so vehemently against the Homosexual Lifestyle sure seems to have a lot of guys who like to touch penises.  A lot.  Time for the Log Cabins to ramp up their recruitment efforts. 

One thing I don’t get though is the whole allure of “sword touching” in a public restroom, especially ones as filthy as most airport restaurants are.  There’s not a whole lot of maneuver room and it must be annoying for the automatic flush toilet to go on and off each time you bob your head up and down while fellating a fellow Republican and/or mega-church televangelist.