There is a symptom that amputees sometimes have where they can “feel” their missing body part.  Even worse are the phantom itches some experience where the brain decides to mindfuck the amputee into thinking the missing limb is also having an itch.  I can’t imagine not going mentally insane trying to make a nonexistent itch on a non-existent appendage go away.

By no means am I comparing what I’m about to describe next as even in the same ballpark as what amputees deal with.  Most of us have our cell phone tethered to our hip, and, for those of us who are considerate, we have it set to vibrate for any incoming call or message.  With a BlackBerry, I get a high volume of the “two vibration” buzzes on my left hip since it is set to do that for every message.  I notice that I will periodically get a phantom vibration where I will pull the phone out of the holster and realize I didn’t get a message.  My brain is sending false signals now so I’m just counting the days until the guys in white jackets show up and take me to the place where the walls are padded and I have nothing to look forward to except Mashed Potato Mondays and Red Jello Fridays.

I found out the company that acquired us last week gives everyone a BlackBerry for work use.  I hadn’t heard of this term before, but I guess when a conference room full of people all get the same email, the simultaneous buzz that emanates from the room has been dubbed the “Digital Moo”.  I’ll report back when I get my first experience of that.  It must be distracting as heck not only to the people in the meeting but especially to the presenter/moderator.