James Kirkpatrick's Not-So-Random Keyboard Strokes

Location: Blogs PaleBlueScot Slices of Life
Posted by: James	10/14/2007 11:39 PM
As a father of two girls, I take pride in trying to be able to answer questions that my oldest one (age 4) presents to me. Usually I can answer her questions at a level she can understand, trying to filter it for her consumption. Sometimes that involves glossing over answers that she’s not ready for (e.g. an adult says a bad word or you’re trying to explain why an adult did something that she knows is bad). For instance, when we see someone on their bike without a helmet she’ll ask me point blank “Why is that man not wearing a helmet?” Of course I won’t give the answer I want to give her such as “Oh, he just wants the emergency room doctors to be able to pick gravel out of his head when he falls down” or “Oh, he’s just getting ready to be an organ donor.” Instead, I’ll say something like “Maybe he forgot it and his mommy is looking for him so she can give him his helmet.” I now have to expand my answers to my daughter that involve the insidious worlds of marketing and advertising. She was eating her cereal one day last week and was looking at her bowl rather sadly. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that the fruit was missing. At first I didn’t know what she was talking about and then realized that she assumed that the picture of the cereal on the box would match what was in her bowl. Unlike other cereals we’ve had where it actually contains dried fruit, this particular one was plain. Of course that doesn’t stop the cereal companies from putting luscious looking slices of bananas and alluring blueberries and juicy strawberries into the picture on the cereal box. I don’t know what got into me but instead of sugar-coating it, I found myself blurting out “They lied.” Realizing that it’s not exactly productive to introduce her to cynicism at such a young age I then added something along the lines of “Sometimes they take pictures of the cereal with the fruit that they would like you to eat with it.” I remember when I first realized this as a kid too and it bummed me out that I was seeing her live that same disappointment that the world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It was comparable to that scene in “A Christmas Story” where Ralphie finally gets his Little Orphan Annie Secret Decoder Ring and when he deciphers the secret code from the radio show it turns out to be an advertising ploy - “Don’t forget to drink your Ovaltine.” Welcome to the world of grownups, where people will do and say anything to get you to buy their product. I’d like to end this on a more humorous note and reminisce about one of the times Megan and I were at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. This particular day must have had an extra something magical in the air because as we got near the camel exhibit, one of the males decided to mount a more-than-accomodating female camel. As the two lovestruck animals were humping away (pun intended), horrified parents were trying to shield their children’s eyes from the amorous animals as they walked rapidly away, all while the curious kids were firing away questions about why were the camels dancing so weirdly. Thankfully this was many years prior to our kids so we both got a good laugh at imagining how each set of parents would try to explain that one in the best possible G-Rated way.

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Re: A bowlful of lies	By KB's on 10/15/2007 10:18 AM
Whats even worse about those Camels is that they are more than likely very close relatives.

Re: A bowlful of lies	By Ian on 10/15/2007 10:29 AM
They're not lying about the pictures of cereal with fruit if you read the fine print- there are times when it says "serving suggestion." A certain level of "puffing" is allowed. I'm not defending it; I'm just stating a fact.

Re: A bowlful of lies	By Erich on 10/15/2007 5:03 PM
I know what you mean James, it's like when you are shopping for Porn and the girl on the front of the box has a real great rack and when you get home and your pants are around your ankles you never see said vixen....instead it's a bunch of dudes....oh come on, that has happened to everyone.....hasn't it?.... :(

Re: A bowlful of lies	By Ian on 10/15/2007 5:05 PM
No, but I would agree to that amounting to a lie- and a major disappointment!

Re: A bowlful of lies	By Milo on 10/15/2007 5:53 PM
Do we really need more evidence of your gayness? Straight (pun intended) from the horses mouth even!<br>Not that there is anything wrong with that

Re: A bowlful of lies	By TSAC on 10/15/2007 8:41 PM
Just in case you need it:<br><br>Those camels are disgusting, that's why you shouldn't smoke!

Re: A bowlful of lies

By Muuurph on 10/16/2007 10:01 AM

I agree with Ian (which frightens me), they're not actually lying. Lying would be saying on the box that it has fruit in it. Instead of breeding another cynic you could point out that they are merely showing how you can eat their cereal with fruit, which would be healthy AND good. How can you be so mean to that well meaning cereal company?? Perhaps you also should have told your daughter if she'd learn to read she would know there's no fruit in it. 4 year's old and not reading? What kind of slacker are you raising?

Re: A bowlful of lies

By Syl on 10/16/2007 11:16 AM

Oh no. Don't get me started....I need to get out of here on time. Insidious and evil is 'just the tip' of the humping you will get for the rest of your life. We are Fight *FIGHTING* the "sponsorship" corporate labeling of the Golden Gate Bridge. Lordy. <><><><><>><><><>>><><><><> Parents with kids witnessing procreation? Oh look honey, they're just falling n love in the only way camels know how. (Inside your head: with their SISTER!) <><><><><><><>><><><><><><><> You could also have pointed out the Serving Suggestion text - it is required to be on the outside of the box because if it wasn't required the pancake mix box would have fruit, bacon, pancakes, OJ, eggs, a fine looking breakfast companion and a Mimosa on the front. <><><><><><><><><><><><> Shouldn't she (the untainted one) be eating uncut oats or something?

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