Today’s Pat On The Back goes to me for Self Restraint.  Picture the following scenario.  I’m driving into the parking deck at work and begin my journey to a few levels underground where I normally park.  As I turn a corner, I notice at the end of this particular parking lane a woman is standing in the middle of the lane.  She was fumbling for something in her purse, completely distracted.  Thankfully I typically go slowly in the parking garage so I made the approach towards her as though I were a Campus Cop.  My car lights automatically go on when it gets darker and since I was inside, the lights had already clicked on well before I even got to this lane.  This meant pair of car headlights was aimed right at her for a good 10 seconds as I made my way down the aisle.

At this point I could only surmise that she was either totally ignorant of her surroundings and where exactly she was standing or she simply didn’t care that she was impeding traffic.  I was feeling rather good this morning so I really didn’t want to lay on my horn, which obviously gets magnified in sound when deployed inside a structure.  Not wanting to start the week off on the wrong foot, I simply flicked on my high beams after I had stopped about 10 feet from her.  Still no reaction or acknowledgement!  Theories of Natural Selection begin to play out in my head at this point, as this is someone who obviously was sent out to play in traffic by her parents as a kid, only to somehow miraculously avoid getting hit.

As I’m finally about to lay on my horn, she, without EVER looking up, begins to walk back to her car, hand still fumbling around in her purse.  She never once noticed, or at least acknowledged, that she was a human pylon.

I’m all for pedestrian rights, but when it comes to common sense, I don’t sympathize for nimrods like this.  The same logic applies to people who insist on walking in the street when there is a perfectly good sidewalk 3 feet to their right.  Why would you want to take the chance of being hit by a vehicle in a city that is not pedestrian friendly?  Stay on the sidewalk, people, and while you’re in a parking garage, stay close to the parked cars.  I might notice you and slow down but one day someone is going to accidentally run you over.  If you happen to be in the middle of the lane at the time, the blame will lie with you.