There are certain laws of physics that we’ve all come to accept.  Inertia is a good one, unless you’re in a car wreck.  Centrifugal force is one that we love or dread at amusement parks.  If you put a sandwich in a microwave, the bottom slice of bread will always be soggy unless you flip sides right after it comes out.

This is why a relatively new invention has me amazed but a bit freaked out as of late.  Frozen food has come a LONG way in the past decade, transforming items like those horrific Tombstone pizzas of the 1990s to actually-edible versions that aren’t simply warmed up gooey glops of glorified gluten.

A very popular item in the past two years has been the frozen Lean Cuisine Panini.  After being heated up, these actually taste decent (when compared to other frozen foods) but what has me awed and amazed but also scared is how crispy the bread is.  How does the sandwich bread stay so crisp after being in the microwave for 2 minutes?  Is there an additive (or fifty) in the bread or does the little drab grey tray you place the sandwich wind up being the actual difference maker?  If it’s the tray, does it leach some unknown chemical that we’ll find out 5 years from now is a carcinogen?

I still am convinced that the gum I love to chew, Trident Splash Peppermint Vanilla Swirl, contains what will eventually be a known carcinogen.  The “juice” in the middle is simply divine, yet so unnatural tasting at the same time.  It’s become my “go to” gum during my commute for one reason – chewing gum slakes your thirst somewhat, making you less prone to want to drink something which would in turn make you want to go to the bathroom. 

The added bonus is you have minty fresh breath if The Fuzz ever pull you over and ask you to step outside of the car.  Not that that’s ever happened to me but of course my wandering mind always plays odd scenarios like that where I imagine the officer asking me what kind of gum I am chewing and I offer him a piece.  Satiated with the sudden surge of freshness in his mouth, he lets me off with a verbal warning.