Note to my newspaper delivery person - when sending out your holiday card solicitation for tips, make sure it’s not the day my paper is sopping wet.  Yes, I’ll tip regardless because that’s what I do, but others might not be so understanding or sympathetic.

Speaking of holiday card notes, I’ve noticed a trend in the past 13 years I’ve been out of college.

At first, you address your friends’ holiday card to that person alone.

Next, once your friends (and maybe yourself) start to Live In Sin you have to address it to your friend plus their significant other.

If they wind up being married, then it’s to Mr. and Mrs. Whatever the Last Name is.  One thing I don’t do is take away the female married person’s first name.  It’s bad enough they have to give up their last name.  If Bobby Athlete marries Peggy Uterus, I label the envelope to Bobby and Peggy Athlete, not to Mr. and Mrs. Bobby Athlete.

Next up is the recognition of your friends’ children.  Putting aside the fact that the people you knew in college who did acts that don’t need to be documented here online and you can’t believe they actually have offspring, you either have to include all three names or begin to address the envelopes as The Ferguson Family.  Once your friends start popping kids out as if they were Mormons or if they truly are “rockin’ it Catholic Style”, including all their names is simply out of the question.  One thing I do make sure to do is put people’s significant others and kids names in my address book because there’s not a chance I’ll remember all their names.

And when you friends get divorced, you start the naming convention all over again!

One final note, to all my Jewish friends, you’ll never get a stamp with “Merry Christmas” on it.  It will either be a generic holiday theme or a regular stamp.  It's a stupid small detail but an important one to me.