I have to give credit to Big Daddy for inspiring me on several of his posts of things you say that you never thought you would pre-parenthood.

“Both girls went poopy today!”  (Which, naturally, the other spouse will reply happily “That’s great news!”)

“(Insert child name) slept until 5:30 today. I feel so rested with all that extra sleep!”

“What color was the puke?”

“Why are all your princesses naked?”

“I just saw you eat that booger.  Use a tissue next time, please.”

“Boobies aren’t meant to be shown in public.”  (As the dad of Two girls, I will continue to use this line over and over and over and over and hope hope hope that this concept sticks in their brain.  But it does run counterintuitive to any man's internal brain wiring.)