For those not familiar with the free schwag the doctor’s office where my wife works, read these two posts.  The latest attention grabber though didn’t come from her work, rather her school.  She is wrapping up her Master’s degree next month to become a Nurse Practitioner.  One of her instructors was cleaning out a box and found an unopened bag containing an orchidometer.  For the majority of us not in the medical field who don’t know what an orchidometer is, it basically measures testicle size.  It basically looks like a beaded necklace (insert 500+ jokes here) with each bead larger than the previous one and assigned an incremental number.  As you can see from the picture below, the ones in blue are pre-pubescent size.  Once you’ve hit Green you’ve made it as a Man.

Anyway, the odd thing was that the teacher thought it would be a nice play toy for Ally.  Even after Megan reiterated to the teacher that it was a BALL MEASURING DEVICE she still thought it was OK for a kid to wear as a necklace.  Megan brought the bag home knowing I would get a kick out of it and also it would be an automatic blog post (duh).

I’m dreading the comments section today so let me get the obvious facts out of the way.

1 – No, Ally will not be using this as a toy.  Once I took the picture, it got thrown in the trash.

2 – Yes, this particular orchidometer was in a sealed bag so it definitely wasn’t used previously.

3 – Yes, I did HAVE to measure myself and was actually pleasantly surprised.

4 – No, we don’t know why the teacher thought that it would be a good idea for a child toy.

Choose your words wisely, loyal readers.