What’s a better way to start your day than having crabcake eggs benedict at the Bellagio?  With the 3 hour difference it was probably already a few hours into the afternoon Eastern time but of course time is not of the essence in Sin City.  Now, keep in mind the goal Friday was to show me as many casinos as possible since this is my first time here.  So after that decadent breakfast (very impressed) we head north for the top of the strip in order to work our way down.  For those of you familiar with the town, the casinos at the north end of the strip aren’t what we might call “classy” or “current” or “have bellhops at the door” or “have nice carpets”.

Circus Circus was first on the list.  Holy shit, it’s as if they just expanded onto a truck stop.  It’s almost funny/retro-cool how tacky and garish the place is.  Obviously it’s a circus theme so the attractions are aimed at kids.  What’s not explained is it’s aimed at poor kids from the 1960’s.  Desperate vendors try to get you to knock the pins over or all the other carnie traps you see at your local circus.  There was a live trapeze show while we were there and the only redeeming factor was the great angle of the 3 female trapeze artists and their shapely buns looking down at us.  On the way out, one friend plays the nickel slots and wins $30 in quarters, which takes forever to pay out.  When he goes to redeem the Vat O’ Nickels, he was shortchanged about 80 cents.  Obviously this isn’t a big deal but it’s the principle of the fact that he was getting cheated.  It just wasn’t worth bringing a manager into the situation.

We hightail it out of there and head over to another bellhop-deficient casino – the Stardust.  After that we navigate to the Frontier, where I played my first craps game and actually made money in the 5 minutes we were there.

Across the street is a world of a difference at the Wynn.  For those of you in Chicago, I compare the Circus Circus/Stardust/Frontier trifecta to the old Cabrini Green projects and across the el tracks is where the Wynn resides.  The Wynn is where the Circus Circus/Stardust/Frontier crowd’s bosses and landlords stay.  It doesn’t take a genius to figure out a place that contains a Ferrari and Maserati dealership is catering to a different kind of clientele.

Next up was the Venetian, which I did enjoy.  These themed casinos are Epcot-like in nature, only nicer and infinitely larger.  The only almost-emergency we have here was when the crabcake benedict started working its way out and I had to find a bathroom pronto.  A trouser chili crisis was averted but it was way too close for comfort.  I won’t dig too deeply into Treasure Island since it seemed cheesy and I heard that the newest outdoor show is horrifically worse than the initial show.

Our evening started out with a bang when we went to the Stratosphere.  We bought the touristy Stratosphere-shaped mixed drinks which are about 2 feet tall.  On the large TV screen was concert footage of a Journey show and this one fellow in his 40s was standing by himself singing every lyric and headbanging when necessary.  He was still Steve-Perrying as we were leaving, completely oblivious to the non-rocking bar clientele.

Much like New Orleans, what’s great about Las Vegas is the ability to take your drink everywhere.  Whether you have a champagne flute of sake or a building-shaped strawberry daiquiri or a gin and tonic or a gallon of Astroglide in your hand, no one cares when you leave a building for another.  We take our half-finished drinks and proceed to the top of the building.  The high winds have closed everything on top but they’re still allowing people to walk on the rooftop.  Less than 10 minutes into us being there, security approaches us and says the building is being evacuated.  Of course, being at the top of a building in a touristy city, when you hear the word “evacuate”, too many bad thoughts are racing through you head.  We found out when we got to the ground that the building had a power surge which activated all the fire safety features and procedures.  Thankfully they gave us our money back, which kind of is like winning at slots since we got to see the view at the top and didn’t have to pay for it.

On our way out, there was a place that sold "SpongeBob Squarepants" shots which were basically 2 pieces of pineapple marinated in Everclear.  There was nothing pineapply about that chunk of fruit whatsoever.  It was the most vile, foul piece of fruit I have ever placed on my tongue.  Sure, it might have helped kickstart The Buzz but that was not the way to go about it.  I think the last time I had Everclear I was still signing student loan forms in triplicate in between hangovers.

Friday night’s plan was to show me the old downtown area.  A biker’s convention was also downtown, so there was more than your normal amount of cops.  Having randomly run into other biking conventions in other cities, I’ve never seen any unruliness on behalf of the bikers.  If anything, they seem to be some of the more tamed groups when it comes to large congregations.  The same was true of this night.  Sure, I stuck out like a sore thumb in my polo shirt and khaki shorts but the whole vibe was live and let live.

Football beers were the order of the night.  I’m not sure how many beers these containers hold, but I had 2 of them.  They also offered daiquiris in the same container but after the too-sweet mixed drink I had at the Stratosphere, I needed beer in my system.  The bartenders at these stations all did the “flipping bottles into the air while it’s in flames” and any other assorted tricks to earn more well-deserved tips.  While my friends gambled, I watched a band play some good covers on a stage next to the casino and also enjoyed the hourly overhead video display that covers the street for blocks.  A limo ride back to the Mirage was a nice capper to the evening.

If there seem to be details glossed over, it’s to protect the guilty.