What if Dr. Robert Atkins, founder of the (duh) Atkins Diet, actually was a carboholic so much to the point that he tried to file a patent for a breadmaker with the US Patent office, only to find out he was beaten to the punch by someone else?  In a fit of revengeful rage, he invented a diet that basically stripped bread out of one’s daily food intake.  Thus his master plan to make the breadmaker inventor go out of business during the low carb rage would become complete.  Just to make clear, I’m purely speculating here.  The last thing I need is the Atkins Estate charging me with slander even though I’m slender.

While I can’t deny the effects of the diet I’ve seen with friends and coworkers who adhered to it during it’s peak popularity, the fact is that I would never be able to go on any diet where bread isn’t a staple.  To me, I enjoy a warm loaf of fresh bread more than I do a draught pour of a rare Belgian beer.  I don’t put butter on my bread in most instances and I’ve been known to eat nothing but a loaf from time to time.  To deny me this simple pleasure would be a fate I wouldn’t want to imagine.

On the plus side, when everyone was eschewing bread, there was more for me, and other carb lovers to chew!