Sometimes a phishing email just begs to be repeated. I’ve left the awesome grammar and oddly-formatted sentence structures. My comments are in blue.
Attention: Dear Prominent User Of The Internet
[It’s nice to get some recognition for being a website tester]
How are you today? Hope all is well with you and your family?
[It’s been a long year but it’s hopefully turning the corner. Thanks for asking.]
I hope this mail meets you in a perfect condition. [My blood pressure is a bit high as of late but I hope this doesn’t disqualify me as being in perfect condition. Plus I’m still detoxifying from Las Vegas.] This is from a total cash prize of US 50,000,000 Million dollars, given to the first FIFTY (50) people who will be compensated in this world internet programs.Allparticipants were selected randomly from World
Wide Web site Through computer draw system and extracted from over 700.000 companies I am using this opportunity to thank you for using the internet daily. [I was even willing to overlook the run-on sentences, but when you round company numbers to three decimal points it shows how accurate you’re trying to be. Oh wait, did you mean 700,000 companies instead of 700?]
Due to your effort, using internet programs indoor and in your office,We want to compensate you and show our gratitude to you with
the sum of $1,000,000.00 Million United States Of America Dollars we have authorized Dr. Garvin Taylor to assist your in getting
your compensation check across to you.The name and contact address of the Dr. Garvin Taylor is as follows;
[I'm grateful for your gratitude. All modesty aside, I AM a kickass internets user. I rule the Tubes.]
COMPENSATION HEAD OFFICE
CONTACT AGENT: Dr. Garvin Taylor
EMAIL: drgarvin91067@gmail.com
[Awesome. A doctor TOTALLY legitimizes this operation. If the medical field is behind it, count me in. Then again, 4 of 5 doctors recommended Camels as their preferred cigarette in the 1950s.]
Finally remember that I have forwarded instruction to Dr. Garvin Taylor on your behalf to send the cash prize of One Million
United State Of America Dollars to you as soon as you contact him without delay .
[Actually, I’ll take my payment in Euros please. That will at least double my haul. I’m even willing to accept Canadian dollars since those are worth more than our United States of Wall Street Bailout dollars.]
Mr. Pakis Clarke
Presidential Library & Museum
Former Director International Online
Lottery Co-coordinator. © 2008 WORLD
INTERNET PROGRAMS®
[Dewd, you guys even copyrighted AND trademarked your company’s name?! This might be legit then!!]
***UPDATE***
My blog host has set up a dummy email address in which we are contacting the good doctor. See me for the email and password. If you don't have my email, use the Contact Me box at the bottom right. We can all monitor the inbox and hope our winnings trickle in, even if it's in Nigerian currency.