I encountered what had to be the World’s Fastest Motorized Wheelchair the other day at the grocery store.  It was being run by a lady in terms of what I can only describe as “dangerous speed” for being inside a confined area with narrow aisles.  To begin with, I had no idea how fast certain wheelchairs can go and since they obviously now can go just below the speed of light, there needs to be rules for these speed demons when inside a public place.  I can understand the necessity to cross a busy street quickly but that same speed shouldn’t be applied in the soup aisle at the local grocery store.  This lady almost ran over me and my daughter on at least 3 occasions during this particular trip.

As we’re walking out, Gayle Earnhart Jr zooms around us and makes a beeline for her handicap-accessible van.  Most vans/busses that I see that hoist up a wheelchair take quite some time.  But much like her illegal-street-wheelchair, her van’s equipment was just as fast!  The doors opened up and the lift zoomed out, snatched her up, and slammed her into her van in less than 20 seconds.  She then slid so fast from the lift to her seating area behind the steering wheel that when her wheels locked into place, her head literally jerked back as if she had been in a 10 mph crash.

She then proceeded to whip out of the parking lot.  Now, whether she had the hardcore munchies from her medicinal marijuana or whether she was simply in a hurry or if she was a Type-A personality trapped in a Jerry’s Kids body, I don’t know.  But I’m willing to guess that she’s run over a few unsuspecting feet in the time she’s had the motorized uber-chair.  It’s one thing to be confined to a wheelchair – something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies (well, maybe a few).  But I also think that a simple “behind you” or “on your left” warning as you blow by me in the cracker aisle is a common courtesy than even cripples should subscribe to.