Human nature is to respond “Yes” to someone saying to you “Can I ask you a question?”  This seemingly innocuous question has now officially been ruined by those poor clowns who ruin the kiosks in the mall and are forced to sell the shit they have.   I will admit to being suckered in once.  This girl asked me the phrase listed above and I said “Yes”.  As jaded as I can come across in print, there still is a modicum of decency left in me when it comes to outward manners.

Five minutes later and my arm has 3 or 4 different Dead Sea Salt gooey gels on it and I’m trying to think of a non-rude exit strategy.  The products were for like shaving gels and face lotions and other skin lotions.  Finally I ask “How much?”  When I found out each of these tubes of useless goo were “only” $25 each if bought together or $35 individually, I said “Yeah, that’s a lot of money for salty gel.”

Again, I don’t know why I sometimes have trouble being rude to salespeople who obviously deserve it but I then changed tactics to get out of there gracefully.  “Are you working here this weekend?  Maybe I’ll come back and get it.”  She then proceeds to say today’s her last day and she starts a new job next week.  It was so obvious she hated what she was doing there, having to apply goop onto complete strangers and try to convince them to actually purchase that overpriced shite.  Since the only thing I gladly overpay for is good beer, I obviously didn’t buy anything.

Yes, I know I could have just said “No thanks”.  It’s easier in theory than in practice though.

Anyway, I now have no problem saying “No thanks” as I get approached by these Kiosk Creatures.  They look offended but I could care less now.  They’re jading our basic human interaction responses.  Damn their bosses to a fiery pit of hell where Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” is playing on a continuous loop.