Semi-Lucid Rants

More Atlanta traffic insanity

jamesjk@gmail.com — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 20:41:35 GMT

There is a reason I call I-285 "I-Poo-85"

The other N-word

jamesjk@gmail.com — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 20:16:03 GMT

I’m a huge defender of free speech but there is one word that I think is used way too much today that minimizes the horror associated with it. The casual use of word “Nazi” has become too far imbedded in our daily lexicon. Everything from the “Soup Nazi” in the famous Seinfeld episode to people tossing the word around when describing a trait about someone they don’t like, it makes me uncomfortable when I hear it.

Some examples are if maybe a teacher is a strict disciplinarian, a student might say “Man, she is one frickin’ tough Nazi.” Or if someone complains of police abuse, they might throw out a line like “It was like I was in Nazi Germany, man. Those frickin’ fascists make me sick with their Gestapo tactics.” Maybe someone, after being chided for grammar, will blurt out “What are you, the Spelling Nazi?”

I won’t chide anyone for using it in a sentence but I’d prefer if people didn’t. This is coming from someone who is guilty of using rather crude language. It just makes me cringe that we’ve glossed over what the Nazi party represented, part of which resulted in the genocide of over 6 million people. If I’m watching the History Channel, I expect to see references to the Nazi regime. But if I’m watching some mindless show on a cable channel, the last thing I want to hear is some ill-informed idiot making a stupid comparison where the sentence ends in “…like a Nazi”. Hey Clueless, try to expand your vocabulary and stop referencing a trivial entertainment-related anecdote with one of the worst regimes this world has seen.

Dear Axl Rose

jamesjk@gmail.com — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 14:15:20 GMT

In this day and age of bit torrents and file sharing, I’m one of the few people who don’t actually mind paying for music and movies. I do view file sharing as stealing from artists and tend not to participate in newsgroups where you can get anything for free. Were I a poor college student, my attitude might be different but as of right now I buy my music via iTunes and rent my movies through Netflix.

That being said, I have a copy of 10 tracks from your now-almost-mythical album “Chinese Democracy” – more than 14 years after you actually started the damn project. Those songs got leaked the other week and how they’re easily attainable by anyone that wants it. Since I, like most Guns N’ Roses fans, don’t believe you’ll ever release this album; I have no qualms about having these unreleased songs on my computer. I also burned a CD and have been listening to it in my car on the way to work. It's on my iPod and other coworkers now have it too.

Here’s the thing – if you ever DO release the damned album (and we all know that won’t ever happen), I’ll still buy it. That’s the frustrating part. Of the 10 songs I’ve heard, 5 are “classic Guns ‘N’ Roses" tracks. Your voice is still great (at least in the studio), the guitar riffs are killer even though it’s not Slash, and I’m even willing to overlook the electronic sounds you’ve added here and there. All but 2 of these songs sound like they’re darn close to a final cut production-wise.

So here you are in 2008 and now the internet’s gonna bite you in the ass. I’m almost wishing that the supposed 100 songs you have crafted this past decade and a half get leaked and force you to officially release the album(s). Stop jerking the fans around. The sooner you realize your eccentricity and insane quest for musical perfection has alienated almost your entire fan base. You used to be the lead singer of the most important band in the world at the time. Now you’re an overweight joke with corn rows in his hair who tours under the name Guns N’ Roses simply because you own the name. Forget the fact that no other original member is still in the band because they all became fed up with you.

To put this in perspective, when you initially titled this album, the term “Chinese Democracy” truly was a far-out concept at the time. 14 years later, China is about ready to overtake the world and the term “democracy” won’t get you killed or run over by a tank.

Daily Double links

jamesjk@gmail.com — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 15:19:06 GMT

Notes on Atlanta and Detroit from the past week

Where, oh where, is the good cheese down here?

jamesjk@gmail.com — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:27:56 GMT

I need to know if this is a Midwestern thing or that it’s a missing component in the south. As an ex-Chicagoan that was raised in Detroit and now lives in Atlanta, it’s a dirty little secret that I’m actually a native of Wisconsin. I attribute my obsession with cheese as part of my birthright from being born in Milwaukee and living there the first three years of my life.

One of those magical cheese concoctions is string cheese. In the Midwest, you can get them as single pieces but also have the option to buy it as a “hunk” of multiple slices, usually around 10-12 in one group. For some reason I can’t find these bundles of string cheese down here (even in the farmer’s markets) and am stuck buying the marginal individual string cheese slices made by your dairy conglomerates. Are there other parts of the country where you can get these string cheese globs? I know California is actually a big dairy state; ever hear of these out there? Does the Northeast have them? I really miss this kind of cheese since it’s extremely fresh, as opposed to who-knows-when-these-individual-packets were made.

Another cheese gripe since moving to the south is the inferior cottage cheese served down here. At first I thought they simply didn’t know how to make cottage cheese in a warm climate. Eventually I found out that large curd cottage cheese is passable, but barely. Again, does the Midwest make better cottage cheese? Are the cows down here eating kudzu or some other only-in-the-south ingredient that makes small curd cottage cheese almost inedible?

Needless to say, I always look on the label where cheese is made and if it’s not north of the Mason-Dixon line, I simply don’t buy it anymore.

Innocence is gone

jamesjk@gmail.com — Fri, 30 May 2008 17:52:26 GMT

As a father of two kids, one of the places we frequent often is the local park. One of Ally’s favorite things to do is be on the swing for long periods of time. Now that she’s bigger, she doesn’t ask me to push her to get her started. I mention this because when I’m standing next to her, I’ve been asked by quite a few kids of the course of the past few years if I could give them a push on the swing. In this day and age of predators and perverts and lawsuit-happy parents, I almost always decline. I say politely to the kid that it might be best if they have their parents push them. But all it takes is some paranoid parent claiming I touched their kid inappropriately and the next thing I know there are charges being filed against me.

Is this paranoid? Possibly, but I’m simply not taking the chance. Periodically I will break down, go against reason, and push that child on a swing but only if it’s a boy. I can’t take the chance that someone would interpret me, pushing a girl on a swing that I don’t know, as some sort of sick sexual advance. It’s a damn shame a responsible adult parent can’t help out another kid on a swing but we’re simply not in a day and age where kids should ever talk to strangers anyway. Where are these kids’ parents/guardians? While I’m not hovering over Ally’s every action at the park, she is NEVER out of my site and she can be reassured that if she needs my help I am right there for her.

It makes me sad to say no to these kids’ requests, but I’m not risking sending any kind of mixed signal to the parent of a child that I don’t know.

Falling Like Dominoes

jamesjk@gmail.com — Wed, 21 May 2008 20:48:13 GMT

I’m worried.

I don’t care which side of the political spectrum you’re on; we’re in a recession. Jobs are falling by the wayside, prices are increasing exponentially, real estate prices are in a freefall and there isn’t really a light at the end of the tunnel just yet. Obviously our economy goes up and down and these ebbs and flows are a natural cycle but this latest energy crisis affects the prices for everything else in our life.

So let’s leave the finger pointing with the hatemongers on radio and TV and point out the stark realities. Our grocery bill has jumped up by $30 or $40 a week minimum. Gas has more than doubled the past year. There isn’t a chance we could sell our house for what it is currently valued at by the county. Healthcare options become more and more stingy each year and cost more and more for those reduced services. And we’re a family that has 2 decent paying jobs! I can’t imagine surviving in this recession if I were making the money I did coming out of college in 1994.

Decatur, the town we live in, has been generally immune from a lot of recession; at least until now. Small businesses in the area had hung in there. But all of a sudden they’re dropping like flies. This is concerning on several fronts. One is that Decatur is unlike the rest of the soulless blob I call Metro Atlanta in the fact that it’s not littered with chain restaurants and big box retailers. The only zits in the town square area are a Ruby Tuesdays and Quiznos. The rest of the stores and shops and restaurants are all locally owned.

I had a friend in town from Chicago last weekend and while I was showing her around, there were several stores that had just vacated their premises the past couple of weeks which I was not aware of. An English pub, a children’s book store, a Mexican restaurant, a sandwich shop – GONE. I dropped Megan off in the town square this morning for her to report to jury duty (she didn’t get picked) and noticed an antiques/trinkets store that had just put up a giant “Closing Sale” sign that morning. It’s gotten to the point where we are going to redeem a gift certificate (a graduation present of Megan’s) to a local restaurant this weekend for fear it might be closed next week and the gift would be worthless. I worry about a town like Decatur, which gained it’s reputation for encouraging local business, to be desperate to fill these vacant stores with stuff you can find anywhere in Suburban Generic America.

I get the standard response from people that I should buckle up like the rest of the country and save money by shopping at WalMart. BULLSHIT, I say. Shopping at WalMart is as un-American an activity you can do as a citizen in terms of everyday habits. Here is a company that has gained market share by crowding out local businesses, shortchanging its employees with shit medical benefits, gets cheap items from China that wind up being of crap quality and dangerous – yet I’m expected to support this behemoth that has crushed countless small business American dreams? To quote the Pope – “Fuck that shit”.

Am I being self-righteous and sanctimonious because I’m at a point in life where I can afford more than the basic things? Absolutely not. I know poverty – that was my childhood. I know the value of a dollar. I also know the value of a local business and how that feeds the mouths of American families.

Spend your Transparent Vote-Buying Rebate check, I mean, Stimulus Patriotic Everything Is Hunky Dory check, on some local businesses. If not, save it. If you spend it, spend it wisely.

The word that makes me shiver

jamesjk@gmail.com — Mon, 19 May 2008 19:33:42 GMT

After 2 ½ years, I have yet to successfully come up with a replacement for the word “blog”. After 2 ½ years, I still hate the word. With the word “blog” becoming more and more a part of everyday conversation and also a buzzword for the media to use, this bastardly coined word won’t be leaving our consciousness any time soon. The sound of the word just grates on my ears.

Maybe I’m getting to that stage in life where some things seemed better but back in the 1980s and early 90s, when Sniglets were in their heyday; great coined words like “cinemuck” came into our lexicon. "Cinemuck", by the way, was the gunky stuff you found on the bottom of movie theatre floors. But now we have these terribly coined words like Dramedy, RomCom and Infotainment.

Back to the blog discussion, the word really does contain a negative connotation overall now; and deservedly so in a lot of instances. Sure, changing the name of that would be akin to putting lipstick on a pig but I need a new name and I need it now.

Blog. Rhymes with bog, slog, flog, fog, smog, and clog. All dreary things that lead one to drink Grog.

Kicked to the Curb

jamesjk@gmail.com — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:15:23 GMT

Progress can be a two-edged sword sometimes. It’s a necessary component of accommodating for more people, it allows for things to be updated over the course of time (from people’s clothing styles to renovations of buildings), and it also can revitalize a neighborhood.

I think where it has a negative connotation is where our personal memories get wiped out when a building or home is torn down or a community institution goes bankrupt or is forced to move from a place they’ve been for a long time. We take it personal when a place where good memories occurred ceases to physically exist. The latter is what is happening with the original Goose Island brewpub now that their owners have squeezed every last penny of rent they can get from them.

I guess the only thing I’m really annoyed with concerning Goose Island’s imminent move is that the owner of this building fails to understand the importance of Goose Island being a vital component in the revitalization of its surrounding neighborhood. For those who recall what that area was like in the mid-1990s, to say it was “transitional” would be generous. Goose Island, U.S. Beer Company and Best Buy were the only 3 places I can recall worth venturing into that area for. Now that the area is close to downtown and is considered highly desirable, the owners are trying to squeeze double the production of the golden eggs from their goose.

But that’s the American way, right? Ride the success on the backs of your subordinates, become amazingly rich, forget the people who got you there and pull the rug out from under them when it becomes convenient. Perhaps I’m being dramatic and by no means am I anti-capitalist. Business people can do what they want with their money and investments. Far be it from me to tell them how to make money. Sentiment doesn’t play a part in business transactions like this so while I’m agitated that Goose Island might be forced to move from their flagship location, I can’t fault the owners for knowing what they could charge in rent for that physical structure. It doesn’t mean I have to like it though.

Let’s take the Way Back Machine to 1998 when a 26 year old earned his M.B.A. (Master’s of Beer Appreciation) with his friend Neil Sullivan (who actually was earning it for the second time – was it his Doctorate?). Here are two pictures of Graduation Day with our waitress. One of these photos has me holding a growler (about ½ gallon) of beer. MBA students got one of these for every 10 beers we drank. I still have that t-shirt. The beer is long gone. The memory remains.

My course load.

Please place the item in the bag

jamesjk@gmail.com — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:26:40 GMT

While it’s nice to have those self-service kiosks at grocery stores like Kroger, there are inherent drawbacks too. Even though the Robot Lady’s voice is semi-soothing, it’s borderline nagging to tell me to “Please place the item in the bag” if I haven’t gone from scanning the item to putting it in the bag in less than 2 seconds. Sometimes the bags are hard to separate although not as bad as trying to open up a clear produce bag. I’d have better luck and feel more dexterous were I to defuse a bomb with my toes.

Other aspects of the software that could be improved have to deal with the weight-based table. A lot of times a really light item, say a bundle of green onions, doesn’t register when you place them in the bag. This is when Robot Lady gently chides you again to place the item in the bag. Usually you wind up having to have the kiosk supervisor manually override the machine since it won’t let you scan another item or pay until the Robot Lords are satisfied you aren’t trying to sneak away with their merchandise.

One final tweak to the software should be the ability for it to recognize that since there are (usually) only two sections where the empty bags hang. Once a bag is full and you remove it to allow yourself to fill up the next bag, the Robot Lady chides to you keep the bags on the tray until all items have been paid for. Does Robot Lady not realize I’m just moving it to make room for more? In fact, the bags are still on the same weight-sensitive table just to the left of the bag section.

Overall it still beats having human interaction although if you have a lot of vegetables and fruit it might be faster to have someone who knows all the codes to enter it in for you. In the Chatty South, not having to wait for others to have a conversation with the person at the register is reason enough to use the self-serve checkout lanes.

And no, Robot Woman, I do not have any coupons. Thanks for asking though.